| Grandmother,
Grandfather, how healthy are you?” The recorded female voice sounds
metallic over the bus loudspeaker. The medical services provided
by Seto Rehabilitation Hospital have been trusted by the Tokuyama
community since the fourth year of Emperor Showa.” I am sitting
in the back seat of the bus, paging through my English-as-a-second-language
textbooks, jotting notes that pass for a lesson plan. Outside the
window a landscape of sheet-metal warehouses, factories, power lines
and blocks of colorless housing rolls impassively by.
At
a bus kiosk, a diminutive schoolgirl in a blue-and-white uniform
steps in, her head bowed down and her face hidden behind a sheaf
of thick, black hair. As she passes the sensor, the recording
screeches Beeeeep — Please take your boarding receipt as
you enter.”
Although
no one else on the bus seems to care, I am fascinated and somewhat
puzzled by the repeating string of announcements piped into our
ears by the Tokuyama City Bus Company. I listen to advertising
for driving schools and old-age homes (aimed, respectively, at
those just under or just over driving age) alternating with safety
warnings and instructions on how to use a public bus. I have to
unlock the elaborate formal language word by word to grasp what
I am being asked to do: Hand down to us the courtesy of not losing
your boarding receipt,” Please be so kind as to wait until the
bus has come to a stop before you stand up to disembark,” and
Let’s all cooperate and vacate our seats for those of enfeebled
body or elder years.”
This
auditory wallpaper of ultra-polite language etches new vocabulary
and sentence patterns into my eager, second-language-learner mind.
I wonder if the courteous words might serve as a balm for the
over-tired bus patrons living in the ash-colored world I witness
out the window.
As
my stop approaches, I hear, Honored customer, soon the bus will
be arriving at the Tokuyama City Hall bus stop. We sincerely thank
you for your patronage. Please bring your attention to not forgetting
any of your personal items.”
I
pick up my briefcase, and I step off the gray bus onto the gray
sidewalk and look up at the low, gray sky. Across the street the
concrete face of the Tokuyama City Hall sits, blank and square
— a comment, I imagine, on the grim, industrial landscape.
I
look at my watch as I cross the concrete bridge over the thick,
black Tokuyama River sludging its way toward the ocean. I have
become inured to this opaque, charcoal color of Japanese bodies
of water, though I am sometimes startled that I might have gotten
used to such a thing.
A
few blocks down, I pass a gas station. The pink-and-green neon
ideograms of its sign flash and punctuate the humid air. A uniformed
attendant making manic gesticulations at the oncoming traffic
runs out into the street before a departing customer. As the vehicle
pulls off, he and his co-workers perform deep, formal bows and
shout hearty slogans: We are grateful for your respected business!”
So sorry for inconveniencing you!” and Please consider coming
again!”
Next
to the station, open piles of smoking, plastic garbage give off
a putrid, chemical smoke.
Surreal
as this all once seemed to me, I head on, almost oblivious, to
my final job site of the day, lost in my thoughts. After 10 minutes
of walking past low, cinder-block walls, houses of blue-painted,
corrugated tin, squat apartment blocks and weedy vacant lots,
I see my destination rising above the tangle of antennas and power
lines: the off-white office building where I teach English conversation
— the Juyo Pharmaceutical Company.
In
Japan one’s social status is determined, to a great extent, by
the size of the company that one works for. I work for a very
large company. In noodle restaurants, in sake bars, in public
parks or shrines or anywhere, strangers will walk up to the foreigner
(me) and begin a conversation — usually the same conversation:
What is your country?” How old are you?” Why did you come to Japan?”
Your honorable job?”
When
I utter the words teach English,” I get an immediate response.
The role of teacher conveys upon me a certain sovereignty, an
aura of power and respect (an aura I could well do without). But
when I speak the phrase Juyo Pharmaceutical,” my interrogators
really begin to beam. Their pupils dilate, and they enthusiastically
exhale, Is that so?!” (This is an employee of an important corporation.)
To
myself I laugh. Just a few months ago, I was heading west across
the deserts of New Mexico and Arizona on a Greyhound bus wearing
a very sweaty M.C. Escher T-shirt, my face unshaven and my long
hair dirty, to board an airplane to Japan. Now with short hair,
blue blazer and necktie, I am offered this bizarre respect within
a hierarchy that I could never have imagined.
As
I approach the entrance, I straighten my tie in the reflection
from the automatic sliding-glass doors and enter the well-lit
and carpeted lobby that is the headquarters of one of Japan’s
largest pharmaceutical manufacturers. I look around at the pastel
murals and the serious but soothing decor, and I try to pretend
that I’m the kind of person who belongs in such a place.
Behind
a bright-white desk sit Ms. Kimura and Ms. Takahashi, the two
cheerful receptionists, or in local parlance, office ladies.”
Upon my entrance they both smile, place their hands on the desk
in front of them, and give a seated bow. Welcome to
Juyo Pharmaceutical!”
Almost
automatically I think, Ah, they’re happy to see me. They know
that I am a feminist; I respect them as people and never objectify
or demean them. They are smiling because I am not like the businessmen
that they have to pander to every day from 8 to 5:30.” But the
next man walks in behind me, and undiluted by repetition, the
smiles and bows pour forth again, earnest and emphatic.
I
am left only to reflect on their skill of execution. These women
are professionals at the top of their field. They work for Juyo
Pharmaceuticals, a very big company.
Every
Japanese corporation has its cadre of office ladies. Their role
is seen as indispensable: They produce an aesthetic and textural
quality in the workplace and smooth the rough edges of the business
world. They are a commodity personnel managers are loath to do
without.
As
my comprehension of this language has increased, I’ve begun to
recognize that the office ladies’ speech contains a vast layering
of verbal genuflection on top of each small bud of meaning. In
Japanese, speakers can draw upon a reservoir of such stock phrases,
or aisatsu, which are words of greeting or farewell that
don’t contain explicit informational meaning per se but are used
to establish rapport or indicate the proper level of deference.
When
someone leaves the lobby, Ms. Takahashi and Ms. Kato again deliver
a series of apologies and protestations of unworthiness (on behalf
of the company? themselves?). The person leaving then offers his
own aisatsu of apology and reassurance, the quantity and
quality of which, I have found, can be read as a general barometer
of his status in relation to the office ladies (if he is an employee)
or to the company (if he is not). The scripted exchange is as
regular and predictable as the cycle of announcements on the bus
and invariably ends with the customary shitsurei-shimas,
or I have been rude.”
The
first time I decoded this phrase in my pocket dictionary, I was
perplexed. Huh?” I thought. These two women are transcendent in
every conceivable arena of manners. They greet customers politely;
they answer the phone politely; they deliver disappointing pieces
of news politely; they serve little porcelain cups of green tea
politely. Their humility and self-effacement are flawless. They
are sweet and smiling to the most abrupt salaryman.
I
have been rude.” Each time I hear this, I wonder if it is but
a rote expression, or if to some extent, Ms. Kimura and Ms. Takahashi
really feel this inside.
Once
when I was early for class, I sat in one of the lobby’s large,
abundant, orange Naugahyde chairs preparing my lesson. On my right
the glass cases displayed various Juyo products: plastic sacs
of intravenous fluid and cans of electrolyte thirst quenchers.
As I paged through the business-English textbook, Venture Stateside,”
I watched these two perform their various tasks.
In
another section of the spacious lobby, businessmen were smoking
and discussing some order of business. A phone call arrived at
the front desk, and the younger receptionist, Ms. Takahashi, answered
it in sugary falsetto.
Excuse
me, department manager Kato, sir!” she called to the group sitting
near me, The telephone. Are you able to answer it now?”
One
of the conversants, a salt-and-pepper-haired man, grunted his
assent and lifted himself out of his chair. As he began his conversation,
he paced back and forth in front of her desk, taking long draws
on his cigarette. Ms. Takahashi, with an air of concern on her
face, began to follow him around, taking small, mincing steps
in her restrictive, navy-blue skirt, unobtrusively moving an ashtray
underneath his sagging ash as he alternately sat on the edge of
her desk and then resumed his pacing.
Watching
her ministrations, I became embarrassed for myself. I was raised
to be uncomfortable with privilege, and I can barely stand to
watch it. I thought about Ms. Takahashi’s job — what she is expected
to do, the words she can and can’t use, the way she is treated
by the male members of the company — all of it predetermined by
the reproductive organs she was born with.
After
the man got off the telephone (without even a glance of acknowledgment
to the patient Takahashi-san), I decided, in my too-American,
too-direct way, to try to find out how she felt about this treatment.
I approached her, and in my best attempt at her honorific language,
I began, Umm … I know this is rude, but if you don’t mind, and
if you are not busy, there’s a little thing, a very small thing
that I would like to ask you …”
Hai!”
she replied stiffly, her hands placed formally at her sides.
I
invited her into the small conference room off the lobby, a place
where her bosses wouldn’t hear us.
Inside
I asked her, When men look down on you like that, do you not feel
angry about the way you are expected to serve them?”
Her
face registered incomprehension, then shock and surprise. No!
I am so happy. I am privileged to have this job.”
But
don’t you feel that you are disrespected … as a woman?”
No,
no, no. Not at all.” The fluorescent light glistened on her deep
scarlet lipstick.
I
didn’t understand. How could she possibly feel what she was saying?
I had assumed that everybody here was just like me, wearing these
formal clothes and playing these roles only as a hateful but necessary
compromise to put rice on the table.
Like
the foreigner in every land, I began to construct interpretations
on the shifting soils of partial information and ad-hoc speculation.
Had she internalized her oppression”? Maybe she didn’t trust me
to keep what she said to myself. (I am a male, and her superiors
sit in my class.) Or maybe she just knows no other world.
All
these considerations notwithstanding, I couldn’t find it in myself
to accept as true her claims to be happy and privileged to endure
such treatment. To me, willingness to be humiliated seemed like
part of her job description.
Furthermore,
in Japan one has to be especially cautious of assertions that
all is well. The circumstances in which someone speaks tend to
determine what is said. Role and situation so often supersede
the individual’s personality.
Or
is the distinction between role and real” personality nothing
but a naive, Western fancy? What exactly is the self, anyway?
It was the Buddha, I believe, who once said, We build the road,
and the road builds us.”
I
wanted to tell Ms. Takahashi about my confusion, to ask about
her reasons for her supposed happiness, but abstract concepts
were not easy to explain at my level of Japanese. Nonetheless,
I tried — haltingly — to explain my American ideas of equity and
mutual respect.
She
listened politely (this, after all, was a male speaking), but
her twisting fingers revealed her discomfort. Perhaps she was
uneasy with my trampling on the invisible boundaries. (Why is
he talking about this?) I could tell that what I was saying was
not being accepted as just your ordinary strange behavior of the
improperly raised foreigner. Ms. Takahashi is not a member of
the social class of Japanese that has been internationalized”
into understanding that foreigners do not know the proper rules
of behavior — what is appropriate to speak about and what is not.
Whatever
the reason, as I continued to explain why she shouldn’t be satisfied
with her job, I was struck all of a sudden with the patent absurdity
of a man lecturing a woman about feminism. A phrase from my women’s-studies
classes in college came out of the past: The essence of feminism
is honoring women’s experience as they see it.”
OK then, I told myself, she says she’s not unhappy; you
have to believe her.
And why did I initiate this conversation in the first place? To
confirm that she felt oppressed? To mitigate my sense of embarrassment
at her obeisance to all men and thus to me? Was I trying to show
myself as an unwilling recipient of her cheerful fawning?
I think I had hoped to share with her our natural” solidarity
and outrage and to mark myself as different. But feelings about
inferior treatment, it seems, are not necessarily universal. In
Japan people are not supposed to be equal. Inequality is, in fact,
finely calibrated everywhere. School, office and family are theaters
for repeated rituals of ranking and promotion, and even diversions
and hobbies are not thought of as serious pursuits without their
complement of tests, competitions and licenses to establish the
proper level of each participant. The structure of the language
itself makes gradation of people appear almost inevitable. In
80 percent of Japanese sentences, the subject is simply discarded
because verb forms indicating either humility or respect always
tell you who is doing what.
And
unlike in my country, being underneath” is not a result of personal
failure. It’s not a matter of blowing it” and winding up on the
bottom; it’s just the natural way of things. How could it be otherwise?
I had been projecting onto Ms. Takahashi my own memories of how
it felt to be looked down on and disrespected. The longer I live
here, the less and less sure I am what the words inferiority
and submission actually mean. Have I (and my culture) been
wrong all this time?
Today,
as I have ever since our conversation, when I pass Ms. Takahashi’s
desk, I do what everyone else does and exchange the familiar,
pleasant apologies and self-deprecations, and enter the conference
room adjacent to the lobby where I will be teaching tonight’s
class.
Thick
swivel chairs surround the large, veneer-topped tables. I proceed
to write today’s points and focus sentences on the whiteboard
with the erasable felt-tip pen:
1. How to disagree politely
2. Expressing gratitude
3. How about you?”
4. The unreal conditional
I
then sit at my place at the head of the room and sort through
my photocopied teaching materials. Tonight it’s exercises on two-part
verbs and dialogues on airplane departure times. And I pretend
I am really here to teach English.
Everyone
here in Japan calls what I do teaching English”— the immigration
officers, the company, my friends, the students. But recently
I’ve been thinking that I am selling something else here.
What
is the inexplicable force that causes so many Japanese people
to throng to English conversation? It’s almost a national fixation.
Why do they pay so dearly for it? What creates the constantly
high demand for my skills” (i.e., I speak my own language)?
True,
over 400 million people in the world speak English. True, Juyo
researchers must read scientific articles and papers and occasionally
talk with researchers from other countries. True, being able to
speak any English at all in Japan is a mark of status in whatever
social group one is a part of. But my students (and I have verified
this time and again) do not lay much emphasis on the study” part
of study English.” They never review our lessons or vocabulary
at home; they do not read books or newspapers in English; they
do not listen to the listening tapes that I prepare for them.
They always prefer meandering chat sessions to orderly and cumulative
lessons, and most of them are mortified rather than eager when
I call on them in class. This is the case for my company classes
as well as my private lessons. This is the case with doctors,
housewives and high-school students, even people who have specifically
approached me with real reasons to need to speak English. They
all simply appear in class two to four times a month, smiling,
ready to be entertained.
I
have tried to ask Why?” directly. When I first arrived, naive
as I was, and found myself facing a new company class at a bank
or trading firm or public utility, I used to begin the session
asking the assembled, nervous males, What is your purpose in studying
English?” And we would go around the room.
The
answers usually, almost always, fit into three categories: (1)
We Japanese must be more international,” (2) I want to visit America
someday,” and the puzzling (3) I have English complex.”
Why
only three answers? And what do they mean? I spend a lot of time
pondering, making conjectures and testing hypotheses. The cycling
and recycling of my unanswered questions make me crazy. Why do
they want so badly to study English?
It’s
true that the government consistently pushes vaguely defined internationalization”
in radio broadcasts, newspaper articles and banners hung from
public offices. But very few people, whether Japanese or long-term
foreign residents, can, when questioned, provide a concrete definition
of what that actually means. It is also true that many Japanese
people take eight-day, four-city trips to the United States. However,
almost all such tours are escorted from airport gate to hotel
check-in to tourist site and back to airport gate by a series
of Japanese-speaking guides, so there’s little incentive to learn
to really speak. Is it possible my students don’t know their motivations
themselves?
And
what exactly, I wondered for the longest time, is an English complex?
The first student to arrive is Mr. Tani, a younger student who
usually wears a somewhat troubled look. He has just returned from
the Netherlands, where he attended this year’s international drug-research
and development conference.
Hello,
Tani-san! How was your trip?” I ask.
It
was … so-so,” he replies, using one of our recently studied idioms.
Why
was that?”
The
Chinese and Korean researchers are speaking their papers in fast
English. My presentation … very difficult … not so good.”
This
I can well imagine. From what I know of his English in class,
I surmise that his lecture was quite likely halting, over-cautious
and of less-than-perfect pronunciation. And from his general demeanor,
I can tell that he took his inability quite personally.
We
Japanese have an English complex,” he says.
The
descending tones in which he delivers this dictum combine with
his dejected posture to explain to me that in Japan, English complex”
may be a kind of shorthand way of expressing that sense of shame
and low self-worth I notice whenever the word — or anything related
to the word — English comes up.
If
I walk into a public restaurant where I am unknown, I can physically
feel distress and tension fill the room. Soon there are three
or four different tables of diners declaiming their inability
to speak my language — a topic that I assume they were not discussing
before my arrival. Similarly there is a palpable wave of relief
when it becomes clear that I can speak a little bit of Japanese.
It’s almost as if my own presence as a European-faced foreigner
immediately becomes an opportunity to revisit and reopen the wound
of the entire nation’s struggle to speak what is, after all, a
very complicated, grammatically irregular language. It is as if
my existence might have no other meaning.
Depending
on my mood, I respond with either annoyance or understanding.
For as much as I wish to be seen as an individual and unique,
I do come from a nation which defeated and occupied Japan and
which even today is populated by millions who demand that the
world Speak English, dammit!” One need only think, further, of
how Japanese society places an almost sacred importance on that
ritual of school shaming known conventionally as the entrance
exam, by means of which a human being’s value is calibrated with
a multiple-choice test, and the outlines of this English complex
begin to emerge.
Nonetheless
I am still more than a little surprised that even in their own
country, many Japanese people I meet feel they should be able
and ready to converse with me in my language whenever I appear
in their vicinity. Like a bad smell, there is a wave of embarrassment
and tension that follows me around wherever I go.
Although
I know from past experiences that it will probably be fruitless,
I try to console Mr. Tani as best I can before the other students
arrive. Yes, maybe you could have spoken better English, Mr. Tani,
but remember you are not to blame. Your English teacher in high
school was preparing you to take an exam, not to talk to people.
I know you want to learn to speak English, but you just need to
try a different method. Rote memorization does not work for learning
a language. You must be creative when you speak. Also you need
not be overly concerned with making mistakes. You were just using
the wrong method when you were learning English in school.”
Mr.
Tani’s mood, however, is unchanged. He becomes silent and looks
dejectedly at the ground, and I am reminded again that he is only
one of millions ashamed to have studied so much English in school
and not be able to speak it. I wish that I could communicate this
to him, but clearly I am not being asked to.
The
planners in the Education Ministry in the 1950s never intended
to help ordinary citizens have verbal intercourse with the English-speaking
world. It was only necessary for engineers to be able to comprehend
scientific texts and to produce research papers for technical
journals. Although the Ministry’s emphasis is now slowly shifting
toward building verbal skills, it may be too late for my generation
of students. The fact that the shift didn’t happen earlier, however,
doesn’t seem to me a reason for personal shame.
Mr.
Tani, it appears, does not agree. Perhaps an institution’s failure
in Japan is felt to be personal. Just as the performance of one’s
company on the Tokyo Stock Exchange may be a source of individual
pride, the lack of efficacy of one’s school system can be a source
of chagrin. A few months ago, there was a sudden drop in attendance
in class when the company’s president was exposed in a scandal
for greasing the palms of some professors from a national university
in exchange for drug patents. (We were so ashamed for our company;
that’s why we did not come to class,” one student eventually confessed.)
Most
days I am just too tired to engage in this same not-your-fault
/ yes-it-is dialogue. It’s just one more of the scripted exchanges
that, as an English teacher in Japan, I find myself repeatedly
engaged in. Perhaps Mr. Tani needs somehow to pour this ash on
his head. Maybe on some unconscious level, this self-shaming is
intended to provoke some nurturing and reassurance from me, the
friendly, young English teacher.
One
by one my students enter and greet me respectfully. They loosen
their ties and sit down at the table. I welcome each of them by
name, show them kindness, and they smile. I know the importance
of kindness here, especially in the context of the frightening
nature of the foreigner. I do like my students, but I’m not so
green as to think that it’s not a part of my job.
For
the next two hours, thanks to the contract between Juyo and Business
English, Inc., the subcontracting firm for which I work, I will
be in the presence of this group of researchers and scientists
— and be paid $80 for my trouble. I might mention that this is
more than I have ever made in the United States and certainly
more than a normal person might reasonably expect to be paid to
have a conversation.
During
the hiatus of the English class, everyone will be group membahs”
in a strange and unpredictable world, the world of the gaijin,
or literally, out-person. Although I may be being myself”
(that myth of America!), I am also playing a semi-theatrical role,
that of the emancipator. I don’t require my students to show the
proper deference toward me, the teacher, or toward each other.
I don’t expect them to meander all over before saying what they
want. I don’t demand inordinate self-humbling. If anything, I
expect them only to discard what (to my American mind) are useless
and inefficient verbal contortions.
Until
one lives here, it’s hard to believe the range of behaviors that
are preordained by custom and practice. In meetings, there is
a particular length of time elapsed before the order of business
is discussed. One visits one’s ancestors’ graves on a particular
set of days in August. A certain order of topics is used to initiate
a conversation.
A younger person utilizes a specific level of linguistic
respect to a business associate of slightly greater years and
rank. Women fix dinner and handle the finances. Men attend neighborhood
decision-making meetings and wash the car on Sundays. It’s all
quite startling when one first realizes what’s happening.
Japanese
society does not privilege the infinite expansion of individual
freedom. They were not endowed by their creator with certain inalienable
rights — or at least not the same ones.
But
in English-conversation class, my position as leader of this group,
combined with my buoyant personality, creates a kind of free zone
where we will all be equal and autonomous conversants. Under the
aegis of this word, teacher, I am accorded the power to
create an ecosystem of friendliness and good feeling — a microclimate
of protection. No statement made in English class will find its
way into the company’s structures of retribution; no favor received
will have to be repaid. In my foreignness, I am the talisman that
wards off the evil spirits of obligation and conformity. It’s
just happy fun, a role in my Americanness that I cannot help but
play.
Outside
of this bubble, it may be the case that Mr. Kondoh has just been
released from the hospital for cirrhosis of the liver — a complication
resulting from his compulsory after-work drinking on company business.
It may be true that Mr. Tani will soon be transferred to the other
side of the country, away from his wife and young child, as a
reprimand for not canceling his vacation to Nepal when asked to
stay and finish a proposal. And Ms. Yoshikawa (the only female
in the class) may have had to serve tea and answer phones for
half the day despite her master’s degree in biochemistry. But
for the next two hours, the circumstances of their lives will
be placed in a state of suspended animation as we enter the childlike,
let’s-pretend world of English conversation.
When
about five students have arrived, I begin the class. I do not
start with an everyone-stand-up-become-quiet-and-take-a-formal-bow
or with an ornate address laced with honorifics acknowledging
the people who have brought us here today. I begin the class with
a simple Hello!” and the question What would you guys like to
talk about today?”
After
a pause one man raises his hand and suggests the seasonal topic
of cherry-blossom viewing. A murmur of approval rises from the
others.
Flowers?
That’s great!” I think. Corporate males in the United States would
never choose such a discussion willingly. As usual I start my
unfettered speculations. The Japanese must be so liberated from
our fear of being labeled gay … masculinity is configured in a
gentler way in Japan … maybe this is an example of the continuation
of Buddhist aesthetics surviving behind the stiff, gray suit?
The foreign teacher soon finds that such compare-and-contrast
meanderings are a lifesaver during the long, empty minutes while
students are struggling with their utterances.
Mr.
Sugihara starts the discussion. We Japanese celebrate the blooming
of fragile cherry flowers every year at this time.”
I
pretend not to know this and nod enthusiastically. Good! Very
good English, Mr. Sugihara.”
After
a pause Mr. Okada continues, To Japanese, our lives like cherry
flowers. Very beautiful, but not lasting so long.”
In
point of fact, I have heard these things in more than four different
classes now and recognize it as part of the larger project of
educating the foreigner to understand and not hate Japan” (prompted
perhaps by television images of United States auto workers taking
sledgehammers to Japanese imports?). Perhaps these phrases were
part of this week’s public-radio English-conversation broadcast.
But as an English teacher, I have to be happy that a spontaneous
string of words that makes sense is being produced. I smile my
encouragement, and the students begin to relax. This is my job.
Now
Mr. Kondoh describes the single- and double-blossom varieties
and tells us about how lovely the pink petals look in the air
as they swirl about the picnickers on the grass. Beautiful, like
snow.” All of us forget the factory grinding away outside the
window and allow ourselves to be transported to a more ancient
and tranquil Japan.
The
shift, I consider, is emblematic of the two distinct and separate
spheres of consciousness that Japanese people are said to inhabit.
There is the camaraderie of company-sponsored sporting events
that punctuate the regimentation of the fluorescently lit office;
there are the 250-page comic-book fantasy adventures read by almost
every age group during interludes in the busy schedules of work
or school; and there are the polite and obsequious words of the
bus monologue heard by passengers as they travel through the concrete
landscape under the pollution-smudged skies.
Philosophers
of Japanese culture discuss these two realms in terms of duty
(giri) and sweetness (amae). The two categories
usually correspond to, respectively, the outside (soto)
and the inside (uchi) aspects of daily existence. (Interestingly,
the word for interior, uchi, can be used to mean alternately
my company, my house, my family and even
myself, depending on a complex calculus of relationships
between the speaker and the listener.)
When
the outside world of duty and its constant denial of emotional
gratification becomes too heavy, one retreats into an inner domain
where sweetness flows freely. It flows from those — usually women
— whose appropriate behavior has been designed and redesigned
over the centuries to maximize the recipient’s sense of being
completely taken care of, of being swaddled in a nest of indulgence.
The
sweetness-providers themselves, in turn, are limited by a strict
code of acceptable behaviors, and through this circumscription,
they provide a variety of finely crafted refuges for others. Today
most of these sanctioned crevices are also businesses, and they
make a remarkable profit. Hostess bars (known, cryptically, as
snacks), erotic comic books and Southeast Asian sex tours:
All are magical lands for men where they can take risks, expose
their shame without consequence, and do the forbidden and be forgiven.
It
is into this slot that the young foreigner steps, unwitting, thinking
that he or she will be teaching English. The shifting curtains
between interior and exterior and the concentric layering of the
interior world are not often explained, but there the foreigner
lives, just the same.
Every
month in town, I see the new ones arrive. If they fit the description
— that is to say, if they are under 30, cheerful and of European
descent — they get the job. Each one is a substitute Hollywood
movie star delivering — at a place and time convenient to the
customer — a sparkling package of enthusiastic spunkiness. They
give the salaryman or the housewife a fleeting, exciting contact
with all that is young and glamorous and quintessentially America.”
The men are all James Dean, and the women are all Marilyn Monroe.
Each one evokes the world of red convertibles speeding down endless
highways and of surf barbecues on Southern California beaches.
These symbols swirl around the person of the English-conversation
teacher, and these symbols are for sale. The admission into this
virtual world — safe, free from strictures of Confucius and reassuringly
temporary — is a mere 6,000 yen per hour — and, in the case of
my Juyo students, paid for by the corporation that employs them.
To
create this make-believe world, the experienced foreign teacher
carefully admixes to his or her performance enough solid-sounding
content,” enough explanation of subject-verb agreement that the
students can plausibly pretend that the class is a serious, work-related
endeavor. But the teacher also makes sure that the room will glow
with the warm amber of indulgence and escape.
On
a larger scale, this kind of interaction can also be seen as the
reproduction of labor power.” That is to say, it is a kind of
heavenly manna enabling the businessman to get out of bed each
morning fresh enough to feed another 12 or 14 hours into the hopper.
When I soothe their fear of making errors, when I do not suggest
that they might do any homework, and when I fail to examine them
on their competence or lack thereof, my presence soothes the injuries
they receive daily advancing the cause of the world’s second-largest
economy.
The
arrangement might even be seen as an evolutionary adaptation on
the part of the society as a whole, as a favorable genetic mutation
enhancing economic productivity as Japan competes with other industrial
nations.
Thus
I join the ranks beside office lady, housewife and Filipina prostitute.
I play childlike games with the men in suits: English bingo, English
baseball, Guess Who I Am” and Fast Talker.” But they do not feel
disrespected. It is my job to be fun.
And
now, as the class takes its break in the silent and partially
darkened lobby and Ms. Yoshikawa inquires of us which kind of
soft drink we would like, I ask myself, Do I feel degraded in
this position? Do I feel as if I am ‘putting out,’ as it were,
my friendliness for (very good) money?” I ask myself, Do I really
mind?”
As
I drop my body into the soft, orange Naugahyde seat and am served
my refreshment by the smiling Ms. Yoshikawa, and I am too exhausted
from 10 hours of teaching to protest, I look around at my reanimated
students and consider the question. To my utter surprise, the
answer that comes to me, floating down, is the same as that of
Ms. Takahashi, the cheerful office lady. No, I don’t mind at all.
I like it very much.
Andy Couturier’s essays have appeared in North American
Review, Kyoto Journal, Ikebana International and
Japanophile. He has spent the last two years writing
a column for the Japan Times, which he is currently
working into a book titled A Different Kind of
Luxury.”

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